Brian Edenfield
Available for freelance
Photoshop, 3DS Max 7, Maya 7, Flash, Torque Game Engine
Sketching, Illustration, Concept Design, Animation, 3D Modeling and Sculpture
Beeline Studios
Evil Twin/Doppelganger
Electronic Arts
A.S.K. Learning
Tektonic Studios
SCEA, Inc.
Spunky Productions
Pixel Technologies
Juggernaut Studios
Jellyman Productions
Find me

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I live a charmed life.

I've gotten four emails recently from hot chicks who all want to have sex with me. They're in New York and they're tired of being married and they just want to have some fun.......with ME!! Tee Hee! They want a discreet, single man with whom to chat and then cheat on their husbands. That fits me to a tee.

I am so discreet it's like I don't even exist. Yeah, top the discreetness that I am right there. Like, most guys would blab the names of these girls to everyone and anyone, but not me. Rest assured Angela McGill, Kay Campbell, Jasmine Kyle, and Katelyn Irvin. Your secret tryst with me will be put away in a lock box never to be uncovered. This is my promise to you, you sexy vixens you.

I'm weighing my options now. I mean, there's FOUR of them. Yeah, they all want me and I could probably take them all at once. But I've got to leave some of the hot ladies for one of those poor schmos out there who ain't gettin' any. I'm not a greedy man! So I think I will leave Katelyn out of the festivities. Her name is spelled weird and it disturbs me.

But that's not the most suprising part. No no no. I get propositioned all the time in emails. It's like an avalanche sometimes! I don't know how all these women got my email address, but I'm glad spammers haven't gotten it! Anyway, that's not the surprising part. The surprising part is the hidden message they've sent at the bottom of the email.

It was hidden as off white text on the white background. Being the sharp guy I am I just clicked and dragged and was able to see the message. The first one had to do with the evidence in the poisoning of Yushchenko being "rock solid". I pondered what Angela meant by sending me this. She was clearly a woman concerned about the state of affairs in the world. I was intrigued. Here is this woman who wants to cheat on her spouse with me, yet she also wants me to be informed of world events. She was a dichotomy, a mystery, a Rubiks Cube to be solved. I was never able to solve a Rubiks Cube when I was younger, goddamnit. I resolve to solve THIS one!

After I have sex with her.

The second message was from Kay. She seemed to be really concerned with supermassive black holes and explosions in space. There was some other stuff about Xrays and galaxies light years away. Wow! I thought. What was her story? She could be an astrophysicist who has become bored with her very bright but horrible in bed husband. It's a story I've heard many times. Who can blame her for wanting to be with such an exiting guy as I! I will most assuredly explore the wonders of this enchanting and absorbing woman! I will go where no man has gone before!

Yes, I will have sex with her!

The third message was from Jasmine. Unfortunately, she sent the same message to me as did Angela. Already informed as I was to the "rock solid" nature of the evidence in the Yushchenko poisoning case, I was a little disappointed in Jasmine. But her name conjured up images of a Moroccan goddess who only wishes to escape the confines of her restrictive marriage and feel the embrace of an american infidel. I couldn't let her down. She deserves to know true ecstacy.
Who am I to deny her simple request?

She will be bedded. THIS I DECREE!!

And Katelyn? Well, I don't like Katelyn's name. I'm getting more disturbed the more I think of it. Plus she sent the same Yushchenko story. I can forgive Jasmine. But Katelyn? NEVER! She will never know the pleasures of me.

Click the link below to see the email evidence. Seriously, I received these emails. Anybody out there want to parse the underlining meaning of these messages? The top part I understand. Typical spammo garbagio. But what's with the frickin' current events at the bottom?
Sketch: Hmm. I've been working this freelance gig down in Redwood City. I have to leave my wacom tablet there. And I can't do a sketch without the tablet. Okay, I could do one traditionally. But I don't wanna, ma!!

This scene was done a few years ago. It's of the marina in SF.


Blogger Julia said...

The sketch is beautiful!

Hey, if you don't want Katelyn, I'll trade you andrea kretela who's a horny housewife. She doesn't know much about current affairs but she does have a cousin who sells Cialis.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Brian said...


I'm getting emails from guys now and wouldn't you know it....their hidden messages are about sports and stock car racing!

10:34 PM  
Blogger Marilyndrew said...

are hidden porn "messeges" normal? is it suppose to add to the appeal, humanizing the woman/man propositioning the potential tyrst? dissapointingly, i don't get solisitaion e-mails and am out of the midden messege loop :(

11:15 AM  

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